yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
