Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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