At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
God I need to hump something, right now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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