i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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