the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
