Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
