i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
