It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
