I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
