Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
