i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
