if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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