Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
