she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
