your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
