Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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(206): View more from Washington

he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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(254): View more from Texas

You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"

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(904): View more from Florida

I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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(408): View more from California

Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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(905): View more from Ontario

"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?

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(631): View more from New York

I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"

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