If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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