awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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