STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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