so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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