is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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