bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
