I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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