Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
