just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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