last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
