East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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