There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
