Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
