i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
