So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
