I just pynch a tree in the face
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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