We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
