I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
