This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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