Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
