Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
