fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i out mim tonsoeep
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
