you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
