they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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