Plan B is the new Plan A
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
