you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
