Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
