I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
