were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
