i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
