Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
