sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
