no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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