I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
