Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This is the high leading the old right now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
