you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
